Oh my! Baby Boy got fingered!

I will now bid goodbye to my blog here in friendster. I will surely miss the good, the bad, and the worst times we had shared. Though I keep on editing and deleting some of my post due to some unavoidable circumstances. It’s not that this blog is no longer of my service. But I need to move on, to let the wounds be healed. Face a new chapter of my life. And to finally host my blogs to a site where I can call it "home". Yeah, this may sound melancholic or something but then I was attached to this blog. It’s been a witness to a lot of things that happened to me since I started posting my thoughts and whatever is happening to me. Like I said, it’s time to move on. You can go to my new blog and check everything out there. It took me months to figure out everything. I transferred all my post from this blog to my new home. See yah there!

I’m all alone in my room again. My yaya Ate Edel or my younger sister Cheng will go to my room to either get some stuff or my sis will check her e-mails and her Friendster account. But today, it was way different. I was all alone in my room. Nothing to do, but just to brood myself. I need a savior! Can somebody call me quick! Well what can I do now. I’ve been doing nothing the past 2 hours already. I decided to edit my drafts or delete some of them. Publish my drafts and well, have a little chat over mIRC. It was a good thing the chat room I used to go 3-4 years back was open again. I saw some old friends and of course meeting new one. Good thing these guys make me laugh for a while. Especially with what I’m going through lately. Geez! Can somebody stop this predicament before I kill myself?!? (",) Oh well, shit happens. Wait, if shit happens, does it mean we let these things happen to us? Weird. On to chatting. Got some stupid girl talking about anything but definitely she was talking stupid things in the chat room. My friend told me that one of the fellow chat mates are really pissed at her. She was beautiful, thanks to Friendster, we saw her pic. I just told my friend "Sayang pare. Maganda siya, kaso ang tanga naman!" Well, such a waste! Marvin called today. Asking me if I can drop by his place and just kill them with him. Nice! Finally my savior! On my way to Marvin! Better get ready. I bet he knew what’s going on to me. He just lives a block away from my so called significant other. Well, he’s been my closest buddy ever since. So I guess I have to let him know what’s going on to me now. One time big time outburst of emotions. This time no boundaries, no holds barred outburst. I’ll let this thing go out right now. I don’t care if this will mean I’ll be in deep shit. I just have to let this out to some one who can comprehend the hell I’m talking about. Details later guys!

And I smell tears and Red Horse right now.

I’m back again to my personal blog! I’m just done updating my Art Blog. Now it’s time to go back to my personal blog to update, and also to record what’s been going on to my so called "great" life. I’ve publish my long list of May posts. (More to come) And I have no idea if I’m gonna update and publish my June and July (The happiest and saddest month in my life so far) posts since I have to do edit the whole drafts due to some unavoidable circumstances. Yes, a lot of things had happened. Good times, the bad, and the worst. Am I to blame? Partly yes, but still, this is me. And part of me is to do some journal and blogging. My journal is nothing compared to The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter series, since mine is already in book 8 and book 9 is on the process. I even put my poems to a separate journal so it’ll be organized. I feel so down right now, so fucked up. But as I said to one of my poems, I have to embrace the reality of life as a bittersweet. I need to stand up again. Never show pain, as I must show it only to myself. I don’t need sympathy, I’m not even selling my drama. But some people I just felt like I stepped into them and made them so miserable that they are like shattered glass that can’t be brought back to pieces. Even if they will be put back together, scars will be there. Wounds may be healed but the scars of torment will stay in me and to them forever. I do apologize for whatsoever reasons had happened. But then no compromise has been made. And such on the spot decisions are blinded with anger. So I can’t argue with that. I never felt freedom, though yes, I am free now. But not the absolute freedom that I felt before. Things are need to be cleared and demand an explanation. But then again, who Am I to demand? My rights, no my privilege are already taken away. Now all I have to do is to stand up again and face the fact that for now, I’m all alone again. No one to share the moments, no one to share the joy, the suffering, the hurt, the excitement, and the achievements that I’m achieving right now with my photos and poems. Am I in vain? No, absolutely not. But this will be my last post where all the pains, frustrations, questions, and sufferings inside me will be shown. I have to let go of my old self where I gave up everything and end up with nothing. Where I keep on thinking but no one ever thinks of me. I don’t care if people will judge me for who I am, and for what I’ve done. I’m willing to face the consequences of my decisions. But listen to me: "This is me and no one will ever change that!" Am I ranting? Yes I am. And I do appreciate the people who had and who keeps on withstanding my rants and raves. I now understand that friends will be there for you, whoever you are, as long as they understand and know who you really are. Did I made a wrong move in my life? No, since I let these things happen. But then, my impulsiveness takes into action 80% of the time, so sometimes I act and I think after the action is done. So people hear me: This is me, whatever I do and write on this blog, I write in in my journal in a more excruciating detail. And with this kind of persona in me, no one can change that. Live with it or just understand, no respect me on my blogging and journal making side of me. As of now, I’ll be doing a total make over of my personal blog. Some drafts need to be edited. Some details need to be removed. For the sake of moving on and to avoid some violent situations in the not so near future. I do welcome again myself to the realm of blogging. Give me the respect that what you think is due to me. But I beg you not to abuse the freedom I gave. Since this blog itself was the witness to my 2 months of blissful torments and sufferings. The same blog that made me free but left me shattered and unwilling to be put back again. I’ll be leaving the shattered me on the ground. Wait for the gust of wind to blow it away. As I’ll be having a new identity, no a new disposition in life. A more carefree, and transparent me. I’ll keep on ranting till my heart’s desire. But I will never step over other people’s life, just to put it in misery. To everyone, my deepest apology for not to updating my blog. Certain things had happened that it left me immobile for a while and focused instead on my art blog just to let out the angst. This will be all for now. See you tomorrow, and enjoy the rest of your week. For me, back to the drawing board, and plan to redo myself.

I’m currently shutting down my blogs (Both my personal and art blogs) and also my phlog (My online portforlio) due to the fact that I’m experiencing technical problems with my DSL connection (Puta! Pati yung linya ng telepono ko di na gumagana! Bad trip! Ayusin niyo to Bayantel!) Currently as of now all drafts won’t be publish in all blogs. I’ll see you after my blog hibernation.

Me and my sister planned to go to Enchanted Kingdom this coming Wednesday. It’s been a while since we haven’t been to Enchanted Kingdom, and it’ll be our little brother’s first. So I asked my aunt if I can borrow her car provided that we will be the one who will be providing a driver. So she agreed and we luckily got one from one of our neighbors. We’re set to go around 10 am and leave around 9 pm so we can go around the whole theme park. I wanna go there too since I want to check the new rides they got. But what I miss most is the Space Shuttle. Can me and my sister broke our previous record of riding the Space Shuttle twice? Let’s all find out this Wednesday!

Got up early, around 10 am. Since I promised my little brother Kiko that we’ll go out somewhere and have fun. Well, as I said yesterday, I got little money left with me. So I need to manage it wisely. In short, no snacks for the both of us. We need to ride a jeep. (Which he’s not used to ride jeeps a lot) And we need to play arcade games, not those kiddie games where they give away tickets and exchange the tickets for some stupid prizes. Well, we just went to Cubao, instead of going to Megamall or other malls around. There are some nice arcade with kid rides in Cubao, My little brother played some arcade games, and as expected. He opted to play those ticket generating games so we just played those. Exchanged the tickets for 6 pieces of marbles. Played a couple of arcade games also. Took a couple of kiddie rides, like the bump car the so called choo-choo train by kids. We had a good time that day. Not bad for someone who’s short on money! Hahaha!

Happy Kiko will take a ride on a bump car!
Playing at the mini-playground at the SM Food court!
Having a great weekend!
Happy Kiko is now tired. Time to go home.

?I just woke up around 3 pm. After countless hours of playing Baldur’s Gate, I still feel a bit odd today. I need to check my wallet. What the fuck! I only got 3,000 pesos left? Where in the world did I spent all of my money? Ok I need to break it down now. I searched frantically in my room for stuff I bought the past week, and some some receipts if ever I saved them. Well though luck! I only found a couple of receipts from Odyssey and a couple from Starbucks. Well I need to rely now on my mind to recall what happened the past 7 days to my 20,000 pesos I brought. Ok breakdown time. (Di ko na papakita kung magkano nagastos ko, baka isipin niyo pa nagyayabang ako! Leche hindi no!Ü)

1. Inuman session with friends
2. My Ambergris visit
3. Starbucks sessions (4 times)
4. CDs I bought at Odyssey (Parokya ni Edgar’s Inuman Sessions Vol. 1, Ragnarok Soundtrack, Spongecola’s Palabas, and Sugarfree’s Dramachine)
5. A couple of magazines
6. Drinking session with Kristel and some friends at Barko in Kalayaan Ave. Q.C
7. Starbucks Mug
8. Internet rentals
9. Movie sessions (Solo flight)
10. Food trips (Yellow Cab, McDo, KFC, and a couple of 7-11 hotdogs)

Damn! Only for a week, halos naubos ko ang pera ko! Lagot ako sa ermats ko nito. I’ll try to talk to her about this. One week of total impulsive buying. What about the Enchanted Kingdom get away with my siblings. Tsk tsk tsk. Controll Brian! Controll your money you dumbass monkey! Hahaha, now I just hate myself spending all those money. I need to control myself when it comes to money! I’m such an impulsive buyer! Well it was all worth it naman. Who cares? I mean, pera ko naman yun. Kaso sayang parin kahit papano. Oh well, it already happened. Now on to the Internet Cafe. Need to get resources. E-mail mom! Yare!

I’m now back to my old routines. Sleep around 2 am or worst, 5 am in the morning. Get up around noon time or 2 pm. Call friends, smoke a couple of cigarettes, walk around the house, walk around the street. After that back to the apartment. Either have some gurb or spent countless hours on the computer and play Baldur’s Gate. Go to an Internet Cafe (Since I don’t have an Internet connection yet) or just stare at my ceiling for the sake of killing time. Errr…. what a life! Bored as hell. Might as well go somewhere else. Oh yeah, I’ll bring Kiko somewhere this weekend to spent time with him or maybe to kill time again. Pfft! My life is currently pathetic. Same routines. It’s killing me. Blah!

I went to Gateway mall yesterday in Cubao. It was my second time to be there. When I left the country, Gateway was being built at that time. When I came back from LA, I dropped by the mall a couple of days back. I bought some CDs at Odyssey. I walked around the place for a while. I checked some stores. They got Lacoste, (Nice sneakers, though they are old models) People are People (They got cool clothes just like Hot Topic but their largest size is XL only. Damn!) and Timezone. (The uber way to play arcades) They also have Fully Booked (Sorta like a Powerbooks) They got some nice line up of books there. I also like the comic books they offer. Sometimes I wish I can be a child again collecting those. Now I really have to find a job to support my hobbies. Anyways, the only reason I went to the mall is because of their garden inside the mall. Yep, a garden in the middle of the mall. It’s on the 2nd floor right at the heart of the mall itself. I just want to take a look around inside the garden and take some photos there. Here are some of the photos I took.

Nothing special to post. Spend the whole time in my room fixing it and reading some of my magazines (Not my FHM you sissy!ܜ) I was checking out one of my Wired magazines (February 2005 issue), and was astounded by the cover. It was the 19 year old Blake Ross. Who’s Blake Ross? Well, he’s just the one who made Bill Gates pee in his pants during the Internet browser wars. Why? Because he’s the one who made the Mozilla Firefox. Yep. That’s right, a 19 year old did all the amazing browser. Ok, so what’s up with the browser? Well here’s a breakdown:

1. Firefox is an open source project (Meaning it is publicly accessible in part or in whole). In short, the source code for Firefox is accessible to anyone who would like to make a different version of it or add plug-ins or extension programs in it. Open source software (Like Firefox) are mostly free. So you can download it at no extra cost. The result, the ultimate web browser.
2. It is more secure than Microsoft’s Internet Explorer. Less security holes, and even if it has, (Such as bugs, or big security holes in it) It will release an update patch or security patch the next day the said bug was discovered. It even restricts the use of Java Scripting (The #1 source of security holes and breaches)
3. It has tabbed browsing. Which means, you can go over multiple websites in one window. Why you need it? Well, Internet Explorer runs in a certain executable files where it’s codes or resources run independently, so the more IE open the more it eats up the resources at your computer, While Firefox share the same code and resources to every websites that you visit, (Those websites that are tabbed are sharing the same java script codes, and such) so it doesn’t eat up that much resources at your slow ass PC.ܜ
4. The first day the Firefox was launched, by the end of the day the program reached 1 million download. (Watch out Bill Gates!) And it even reached a whopping 53% of change in share of US (take note US only) browser market during October to December of 2004!
5. Oh and did I just said it’s free? Yes it is! So go and grab one!

A sample shot of the Mozilla Firefox.

That’s why I was astounded with this kid. Look, he’s 19 years old, he started the Firefox revolt, but what’s really amazing is that he used the same code that runs the Netscape browser. Yep that’s right. But what’s more amazing is that he was 14 when he started hacking Netscape. Such a geek! I envy the kid! I really look up to this guy! I hope, one day I could meet him.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the 19 year old Blake Ross on the cover of Wired magazine. (February 2005 issue)

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On the other side of my day, I was at our sala watching TV. And guess what, I also got amused at watching chinovelas for the fun of it. The re-runs of Meteor Garden, Memories of Bali, and Stained Glass completes my night. I don’t know why, but it just amuses me watching them. And guess who influenced me to watch them, Right! It’s her:

Siya ang may sala! Ate Edel watching an episode of Stained Glass. She was so focused at watching I decided to take a photo of her. And she didn’t even noticed that I took a picture of her!

Oh what a night it is! I’ll try to go to Gateway mall mall in Cubao tomorrow to check the place out and take some photos in their garden!