Oh my! Baby Boy got fingered!

It’s another ordinary day for me. After the Santa Monica beach adventures , here I am in front of the computer, just waiting for some ideas to come out of my mind and post it here. As I try to go back to the time when I was working, and until now my back still gives me a hell of pain. It just makes me think what will I have when if I’m still working in that filthy warehouse in Downtown LA. Maybe accessories for my new digital camera and my MP3 player, books that I’ve been drooling to read, some spawn action figures (Todd McFarlane really amazes me with his work), and most of all the bilins my friends told me. I haven’t bought any of them. Well I already did before but I need to return them for refund since my mom needs the money badly (for some reasons I don’t wanna go deep into). It just frustrates me now that I can’t have the money I need to buy them all again. Heck! I even canceled the order for my Motorola RAZR V3 which I’ve been really drooling for since last year. It all boils down now to frustration. As I try to think about this things, I just can’t help and ask myself "Am I such a failure?" Yeah, well I may sound way too off myself, but I just can’t help to think and ask myself that question. In a certain way it made me so frustrated now. I feel so helpless and low. I just wish that I didn’t went here in the first place. Failing myself is ok, but failing other people especially my friends is another. Oh! I just wish I can just go on and find a resolution to this. If there’s someone or something to blame here, it’ll be the fuckin life here. Such reality no other will see. As the saying goes, "You have to see it to believe it." i just hate how life is so different here. Making sacrifices for the sake of others. In my case, sacrificing my dreams for the sake of me. No more DVDs, no more gaming PC with an ATI Radeon X850 Platinun Edition, no more PS2, Xbox, Game Cube, and the Nintendo DS. And what about the PSP? Argh! I just hate it. Thinking about this makes me feel like I’m not enjoying my stay here. I just wish I’m back home.

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My Tito June called and has told me that we’ll take a walk around Beverly Hills and Nike Town tomorrow. Now that’s some consolation for me.

"Let your wave crash down on me and take me away" - Ocean Avenue (Yellowcard)

That’s my theme song for that day. Why wouldn’t it be? That song was about Ocean Avenue in Santa Monica. It’s just besides the beach itself. As I went to Santa Monica beach again, I went there a little bit late since my primary goal is to take a photo of the sunset (which didn’t happened yesterday since I ran out of battery). As I was taking more photos along the beach. I just feel a certain calmness of the breeze. People having fun, and children enjoying their school breaks and having fun at the water. Couples walking along the shore together as the sun goes down (and I truly envy them!). There’s such a satisfying feeling that overwhelms my whole being. There’s a certain contentment that I feel in me. It’s like taking photos of this place does not only bring me joy, but also a message. That life is calm like a breeze. You just have to accept it with open arms. Every photos I took has something to say. Has a certain meaning in it. Besides the message or emotions I want to portray in every picture I took. I’m
excited to show the photos to my friends and see how far I can go with
this photography thing. It really lets me explore thing that I can
never imagined to do. Talk about hidden talent! It is really a great feeling for me to be in this place. As the sun is about to bid farewell that day. A certain aura was covering my whole being. So serene, so peaceful. As I look at the sunset, I can hear it’s voice. Like it was talking directly to my mind. As the day ends, a new day awaits with hope. Just like the song of Semisonic (Closing Time) - "Every new beginning comes from some another beginning’s end." As I was about to head home. I took a last glimpse of the beach. I will always remember this place. One of the best places I went.

OK. I still have a lot of photos to transfer from my memory card. I had great pictures from our Disneyland trip. My new digital camera did well in taking photos. So what now? Where can I still test this thing? Well it all started to this photo.

It’s a window in my parent’s room. I was just fascinated with the outcome that I thought, "Hey, I think I’ll go to Santa Monica beach today". Just for the fun of it. So as I prepared myself on my way there, one thing is running on my mind: embrace the world of photography and learn more about it. What becomes a new discovery of a talent in me, and just an experimentation on my camera. It became a hobby, no a passion. I started to enjoy taking pictures of anything and everything. Just for the kick. As I arrived there, I didn’t waste any precious time to take pictures of anything that I find interesting. From the birds that are flying, to the men who patiently waits for a fish to take a bite on their baits. It was so windy in there. A bit cold, since spring is getting near (hopefully since April is a couple of days away now) I keep on taking photos and I was just in time there since I can wait for the sunset and have a photo of it. But too bad my battery just went dead on me. I forgot to charge my battery! Doh! Oh well, I’ll just drop by tomorrow and take more pictures of the place. Such a beautiful place indeed. Here’s some sample of my pictures.

More pictures from our Disneyland adventures yesterday. From our fun rides to our wacky insane moments! Really the happiest place on earth.

Inside the India Jones ride

Wow! While waiting in line in Indiana Jones

The Mattarhorn

Inside the Haunted Mansion

It’s a small world

Oh! They have chilii dogs!!

What?!? 3 hours wait for the Splash Mountain? Err.. Never mind then! Let’s go Mattarhorn again!

Me, my folks, and my cousins Chuck, Kevin, and Francis went to Disneyland in Anaheim. We did enjoy the place. The place is huge! The parking lot itself is the 2nd biggest parking area in the world! (the biggest is Disneyland in Tokyo, Japan) We even had to ride a tram from the parking area to the main entrance. As we went inside I was astound by it’s size. It’s like a town, a very happy town. Bands marching, every Disney characters are there. Even Muriel from the Little Mermaid. We tried almost all the rides there. From the Indiana Jones to the Mattarhorn. Some rides are for kids like the It’s a small world where you’ll see different dolls representing different countries, or the Buzz Light year ride. But it was definitely fun. It took us the whole day to go around the whole theme park. We got tired of falling in line and waiting for our turn to ride, but it was worth the wait. We finished the night by watching a play from the movie Fantasia. It was really fantastic! I’m really amazed by the effects they’d used. We went out of the theme park at around 11 pm. All tired but I can really say it was all worth it. I have a splendid time there. It was indeed the happiest place on earth.

My uncle June and I went to the local office of FedEx in San Fernando Rd. Since I called FedEx to hold the item and I’ll just pick it up, just to make sure that I can have the item and that it wont be delayed again. As I went home I excitedly open the box, like a 5 year old kid about to open his Christmas present and hoping that it will be what he wished for. As I opened it I started to startle myself of it’s arrival. I finally have my own digital camera!

I didn’t hesitate to put it all together and start playing with it. Took some photos around the house and here’s some photos I took with my new Canon PowerShot G6!

I woke up early today. Though I only slept for 5 hours, excitement is running through my veins the very moment I wake up. I was waiting for the arrival of my digital camera. The on-line vendor notified me 3 days back that they already shipped the package through FedEx and they gave me the tracking number. Now according to FedEx it’ll take 3-5 business days for the item to be delivered. But when I checked it again last night it already arrived in the FedEx local office here in LA. So I was expecting for the digicam to arrive today. I waited till it worries me when the clock ticked at 3:00 pm. The FedEx guy should’ve been here at that time. I know since we always get deliveries from them at 3:00 pm (We always get our on-line purchases thru FedEx). So I tracked the package on-line and it says there that nobody was home and they will reattempt tomorrow. Now wait a minute here buster! They didn’t left any note at the door nor even did I heard someone knocking on the door! I called FedEx about the matter and they said they can’t do anything since local offices will be close by 5 pm and that every delivery man should be at their location before that time. So what can I do? I just let it pass, though totally pissed, I just have to wait till tomorrow.

"Life is like a double edge sword"

And I totally agree with this quote. I don’t know where I get this quote, but it doesn’t matter. Well, as boredom keeps on bombarding itself in me, I was just inside my room the whole day and suddenly this quote crossed my mind. And I asked myself, "are we really ready to take a risk and is it avoidable?" As I think about it, I just think that everywhere we go, risk are always with us. From the moment we woke up, to our way to work or school, and even in relationships. I believe there is no such thing as perfect, thus a perfect relationship never exist. Heck! Even our relationship with God is not even perfect! (should I go on with this one?) I’m in a relationship, in a long distance relationship to be exact. It is hard and it has many risk. Sometimes it makes me depress and paranoid. But as long as I trust her and I know deep in me, I’m not doing anything wrong here. Everything will just work out fine. But anything can happen, from the simplest arguments over the phone to the worst scenario where I got mugged here or maybe have another one (same on her too). Like I said; Trust, honest, and loyalty should be the major factors that will affect ones relationship to work out fine. The rest are just sub-factors to make it through or solidify it. Being here away from my girlfriend is hard, and really risky. The fact that we know that we are far from each other - meaning we don’t see each other, we just hear our voices can be risky. If I abused this type of freedom I’m experiencing right now, I wouldn’t plan going back to the Philippines at all. Another risk is this place. With full of gangs, racist and homeless lunatics, nobody can say what’s gonna happen to me. Same to her since there’s a lot of Christian-Muslim collisions are happening back there. There’s a lot of risk, that’s the bottom line. From the mere fact that some of it are real facts, and some maybe just paranoia - it is still a risk that everyone will face. Yeah, maybe I’m getting the Homer Simpson type where almost all the insane and out of this world ideas are crossing to my mind, it is still considered a risk for me. So are Am I really ready to take risk? The answer will be both no and yes. No, because one you thought of the risk you are facing, it’ll scare the shit out of you that it’ll make you go crazy and do something stupid. Stupid meaning trying to avoid it. For me, avoiding such risk will end up in another risk. A good example will be, being late. You’ll tell the person you’ll gonna meet sorry and make white lies, like EDSA is really congested with crazy ass drivers. As you do this again and again plus the excuses, that person will loose trust in you, and she’ll get mad and the worst thing will be not seeing you again. Rather than telling the real reason you got late, tell them your sorry and it wont happen again, and take the risk of the person getting so pissed at you for just only a day. So I already did answer the 2nd question. "We can’t avoid taking risk." So what should we do? We should brave enough to face that fear, and the bold enough to take that risk, we will be a better individual. I’m not saying that it’ll make us a better that we will be wiser and such, but we will have a better view of life, and the understanding why such like risky situations exist. As the one of the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon says "That’s a risk I’m willing to take." And every decision I made maybe won’t do me any good, or maybe it’ll just make me miserable or depress. But that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Emo. Whenever this word comes to my mind, I remember the time when people are using this word as part of their everyday lives. Using the word as an adjective describing their state or situation, or even as an expression. I was curious on what is this "Emo" thing since the first time I heard around 2003. My first idea of the word emo is that it’s new type music and teenagers around 15-20 years old are its listeners. I also saw Spin magazine and also other music magazines defining emo as a new genre that was hitting the teens by storm. I wonder why teen are going crazy into it. As I find more and more people going crazy over this genre, I started to have question about emo. There are 2 questions that popped into my mind. They are the following:
1) Why is it called the music for teens?
2) Is it really a genre or just another trend?

As I tried to search on the net for answers Urban Dictionary define Emo as a Genre of softcore punk where it integrates unenthusiastic melodramatic 17 year old. It is derived from the emotive style of the lyrics and music. The music has also spawned a subculture which conforms to certain conventions in dress such as tight sweatshirts, tight band T-shirts and horn-rim glasses. Adherents profess to excessively melancholy temperaments. The website MP3.com define emo as an arty outgrowth of hardcore punk, emo became an important force in underground rock by the late ’90s, appealing to modern-day punks and indie-rockers alike. Its brief history says it originated around 1984 and emerged in Washington, D.C. The term "emo" (sometimes lengthened to "emocore") was initially used to describe hardcore bands who favored expressive vocals over the typical barking rants; the first true emo band was Rites of Spring, followed by ex-Minor Threat singer Ian MacKaye’s short-lived Embrace. Other artist who went to the emo bandwagon were Fugazi, At The Drive-In, Jimmy Eat World and Weezer; While some new emo artist are My Chemical Romance, Taking Back Sunday, The Used, A.F.I, Simple Plan, And even Blink 182 are staring slowly to move in to the said genre in its new album. OK, so far, it’s a sub genre of Punk, the teens are its target market and people who are into this genre dress in tight shirts and some weird hair styles too. So why the music does fits the teens? First emo is said to be a type of music in where its lyrics are confessional it heavily favors expressive and low pitch vocals. For me with this definition, emo became a security blanket for them. With this type of music, they express how they really feel, confused and angst driven. It’s a perfect target market since at this age, people tends to be confuse on what’s going on with them and are trying to find a window where they want to let out their anger. Emo is that window for this kids and not another type of music for them. So is it really a genre or a trend then? The way I see the emo scene, it is more of a trend than a genre. Why? First all songs can be emotional and the lyrics can either be confessional or angst driven. All songs can show emotions, like Emo too. So it seems like a certain song can make you cry or sad since the lyrics will be emotional, but the musical approach will just be different with Emo’s low pitch vocals and heavily detuned and low pitched guitar riffs. Second, whoever said that Staind’s Outside or even A Perfect Circle’s 3 Libras didn’t make them emotional are stupid. These two songs are an example of two Alternative Rock or Hard Rock music that can show sadness or even frustrations. So I just realized now that emo is not a genre but just a trend where angry teenagers are embracing now as a way to show their anger and other emotions they’re hiding inside. I don’t hate emo or the artist under it. As a music lover, I just find it weird and pointless for other people to say that it is a genre and go crazy over it. It is way too exaggerated for them to be so "emo". And as I was writing this, I’m currently listening to Tacking Back Sunday’s This Photograph Is Proof (I Know You Know). Oh Emo!

=)

I can’t sleep. Got nothing to do and nothing more to post. I’m still having a hard time on how to plan extended vacation once I get back to Quezon city. I’m really planning to go out with Toni once I get back to the Philippines. I mean alone. Just only the 2 of us. But then, I have to make back up plans right? If something, and hopefully nothing will go wrong with my main plan. But what is the main plan? Ok so here’s the deal: I’m planning to have an extended vacation and spend time with my girl alone (as I said just the two of us) in Puerto Galera on a weekend within May. But at first when we talked about this a couple of months back, she said there’s a lot of work at that time so she’ll see if she can have a vacation. Hopefully she can have one so we can go. But if that won’t work it’s either we go to Batangas or to Tagaytay at least, and spend the weekend there. Maybe around June or July. But I need to go. I mean, I wanna relax and have fun. And definitely I don’t wanna spend it alone. So I was asking my good friend Kristel about my plan just a couple of weeks ago. So said yes to it. I also asked her to invite some friends. Since I cannot go out with Kristel alone. Now the only problem is which resort to go and and how to pay a reservation fee if I need too. Another headache! I really need to make a reservation so at least everything will be smooth as possible. I remember that Jules (my former office mate) always goes there. So I called her up and told her my plan. She said she has also plans and always wants to go there. Perfect timing! So I invited her to my plan and asked Kristel if it’s ok with them if I’m gonna bring a friend. Kristel said that it’s ok. I asked Jules for help to find a good place to stay. A cheap but a nice place to stay. She said she still has some contacts there, and she’ll send it thru her e-mail. Cool! Hopefully this plan will work out. I really need to relax and have fun. Can’t wait to get to Puerto Galera!